Reality Check

After 4 long days and nights of mourning it was finally time for the village to bury their loved one(if you're wondering why I don't use his name it's because I have no idea how to spell it). The people in PNG have no concept of time, they don't feel a need to rush anything or start anything at a specific time because most have no responsibilities and no where to be. So what was supposed to be a 10:00 funeral didn't start until 1:30. When we arrived in the village we sat under the same blue tarp we had a few days prior when we went to the house call. Sitting there on the dirt I was realized that in their world, it is key to embrace being dirty, there's no sense in fighting it because there's no avoiding it. There were a couple hundred people there and a few of the pastors gave a short message followed by Bill. When he finished speaking it was time for everyone to view the body. Lori gave me Gracie to hold while she went up with Bill, Amo and Aaron. I was sitting about 10 yards back from where the casket was sitting on top a small wooden table and there was a long line of people waiting to see him. Bill and Lori were the first to go through and Bill stayed up there with the rest of the pastors and Lori came back with Aaron while Amo ran off with some friends.
I wasn't exactly prepared for what happened after that, but I suppose there's really no way to be ready for something so foreign to the customs you're used to. At this point I had only heard stories of how people mourn here but now I was experiencing it first hand. Behind Bill and Lori a few men went through fighting back tears; they are the warriors they are meant to be strong. Then the women began through. All of the sudden I hear one start then another and another, crying, moaning, yelling, like I've never heard. As they progress to stand before his body, they begin throwing themselves on the ground, rolling around in the dirt and throwing it on the faces. They fall to their knees and grab the mens legs yelling and crying and pounding the ground. There's now a group of about 10 women not 10 yards from me mourning in a way impossible to imagine to someone unaccustomed to this lifestyle. While the women were doing this I looked around at the men standing nearby who were just watching. That to me was the saddest thing. Seeing in their faces the pain they were feeling but trying not to show, at least the women didn't hold anything in (Bill later told me that the men mourn in the same way as the women, but they do it in private). Some of the younger children began crying because that's what everyone else was doing, but most of the pikininis(Pidgin word for kids) just walked around like they were used to this. This went on for quite some time and I started noticing Bill having problems getting people through the line to view the body. So many women were done rolling on the ground that they were now right in front of the casket so no one could get through. Bill and the other men were trying to get them to move but they either didn't hear him or just didn't care. Bill finally tells the men to put the lid back on the casket because one of the women was under the table kicking it and he didn't want the casket to fall. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened had the body fallen out.
Finally the men carry the casket to where it will buried. Everyone rushes over so they can get close enough to see but there is not as much open space here. Baby in hand I follow Lori and we are close enough to see what is happening but not too close that we're crammed between the two houses that he will be buried behind. I can't really here much of what is being said over the cries from the women, not that I would understand it anyway. They are letting people up to the grave site to throw flowers in before they put the casket in the ground. The women at this point are just getting worse. Some are trying to jump into the grave and the men have to lock arms to hold back their own wives who are all punching and kicking and pushing them trying to get in the grave. Some of the calm women drag the others out of there and to the side of the house I am standing at where they continue wailing and throwing themselves onto the ground. I see Ruthie who has been wailing and falling to the ground just like the other women and Lori goes to calm her down. I am standing behind a good bit with the baby. I find Pat(the missionary whom I went with to help teach at the private school a couple days prior) to stand with beside one of the houses.

I'm thinking about whether or not I should head back to the house soon when I suddenly hear a crash. The people on the side of the building I'm standing at, come running around past me. Scared and unsure of what's going on I ask Pat what's happening. He says that sometimes people in mourning tend to get violent. I don't even have time to process this, when I see a pot come flying right past me. I can't see around the edge of the house but I hear a man yelling and everyone in front of me runs out of the way. Suddenly about a foot from me I see a wild looking man, shirt torn open multiple times, swinging a big stick. I instantly turn myself in his direction but with my chest to the building so I can shield the baby. I feel Pat shift to shield me. This man is so close I could reach out and touch him and he rushes past me yelling at everyone to "watch out!" as he swings the stick. The people are literally running out of his path as he walks in a circle. It was like a sheep dog herding sheep, the way they moved so quickly to avoid him. My heart is pounding but my only concern was the baby..I guess I do have some maternal instincts in me after all. A few of the men then manage to tackle him to the ground, before he can do any damage, and restrain him until he calms down. I look up to see Bill and Lori and the kids coming my way. Amo seems a little shaken up and Lori and Bill are both concerned with how I am doing after that. I'm not scared or upset at that point, truthfully I'm happy that I stayed long enough to get to see that. Lori thinks it's best for me to take the baby and Aaron home at this point to avoid anymore drama for the day. A couple hours later, the reality of it kicked in and I realize that the events of today were alot for me to take in. I was thrown into a world so unlike that which I know, it would have been impossible for me to grasp the everyday reality of these people, without experiencing it firsthand.